32. Dover DBagers – 32-57 #21 Hitting/ #32 Pitching/ #18 Fielding
As if the DBagers didn't have enough problems this season, fans are now wearing brown paper bags to all the homes games. Team has decided to charge for outfield seats and free admission for the rest. Remember to come early and get some good seats.
31. Little Rock Anti-Clintons (Maybe Lumber Jacks) – 25-64 #31 Hitting/ #27 Pitching/ #20 Fielding
Pick a name already people
THE ALMOST HOPELESS TEAMS
30. Oklahoma City 89ers – 34-55 #30 Hitting/ #29 Pitching/ #21 Fielding
There’s one bright spot for the 89ers, there no longer a Hopeless team.
29. Montreal Maniac – 35-54 #32 Hitting/ #28 Pitching/ #32 Fielding
You have to feel bad for Maniac’s, the season as been real ugly for the team so far. Perhaps if the Maniac’s could hit, pitch and field it could improve on there record. Until then, the Maniac’s will continue to sit in the NL North cellar.
28. Kansas City Kansas City Royals 33-56 #28 Hitting/ #26 Pitching/ #6 Fielding
Will not say anything about the Kansas City Kansas City Royals until they fix there name.
27. San Diego Missions – 33-56 #26 Hitting/ #18 Pitching/ #29 Fielding
San Diego is slipping into the Pacific Ocean at this rate. A weird development this season has been if the Missions played all there games on the road, they would be in the playoff race.
26. Toronto and the Lone Ranger – 37-52 #22 Hitting/ #23 Pitching/ #24 Fielding
Getting outscored by a combined margin of 66 runs, it’s the Toronto’s pitching that's the problem, with an ERA of 5.02. Maybe the real Lone Ranger could pitch for the team?
THE THANKS FOR PLAYING BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR TEAMS
25. Salem Saints 37-52 #14 Hitting/ 24 Pitching/ #26 Fielding
The Saints can hit with the best of them. The pitching staff most be praying to the wrong god this season because they can’t stop anyone. Salem is tied for the most blown saves with 18, only 6 less then the saves the team has collected all season.
24. Colorado Deadbeats – 38-51 #3 Hitting/ #31 Pitching/ #14 Fielding
Deadbeats pitchers have an 6.33 ERA, but apparently they think it could get worst then that very soon: The Deadbeats seem to be interested in any pitcher with a pulse. They have open tryouts starting in a week, so if you think you can make it as a pitcher in the major leagues, give it a try.
23. Huntington Bullets 38-51 #6 Hitting/ #30 Pitching/ #1 Fielding
Slowly, quietly, the Bullets might be coming around. The pitching staff is finally showing signs of life. There are only two questions, then: (1) is it too late? (2) can they play the rest of there games on the road? The Bullets sit 14 games out, a long but not impossible deficet.
THE WHERE ON LIFE SUPPORT TEAMS
22. Durham CroBulls 44-45 #29 Hitting/ #19 Pitching/ #8 Fielding
No matter what happens to the CroBulls, they have truly confused the city of Durham this season. A 97 year old retired vet stated “Might as well go home and spend time with the wife if the team can’t score some runs.” No comment from the wife.
21. Trenton Tea Baggers 42-27 #27 Hitting/ #16 Pitching/ #2 Fielding
THE BELOW AVERAGE TEAMS
20. Burlington Beavers 41-48 #23 Hitting/ #12 Pitching/ #10 Fielding
This is a weird team, everything says they should have a better record but they don’t. They have scored 5 more runs then allowed, are almost even at home and the road. Think they should change there name to the Burlington Mysteries.
19. Boise Barnstormers 40-49 #25 Hitting/ #11 Pitching/ #13 Fielding
18. Florida Manatees 44-45 #13 Hitting/ #20 Pitching/ #16 Fielding
The Manatees don't have a good back of the rotation, they don't have a good bullpen, they have an average defense, and they have an average lineup. The Manatees are going to have to scratch and claw if they want to make it to the top. But then again these are Manatees, I don’t even think they can scratch or claw.
17. Louisville Sluggers 46-43 #17 Hitting/ #22 Pitching/ #9 Fielding
They have opened up a little space in the National South. Never mind the team being out scored by 23 runs already, first place is first place.
16. Baltimore Beatdown 43-46 #12 Hitting/ #14 Pitching/ #11 Fielding.
The mission is simple for the Beatdown the rest of the year: survive. Find a way to improve but don’t fall to the rest of the pack behind them.
THE AVERAGE TEAMS
15. Santa Cruz Is Coming to Town 47-42 #19 Hitting/ #6 Pitching/ #30 Fielding
Maybe if they find enough people to mail letters to Santa Clause, he can finally come to town and delivier a gift of an offense to the team. This would be a scary team with an offense.
14. New Orleans Knights 49-40 #10 Hitting/ #15 Pitching/ #3 Fielding
Wish the last Wildcard spot could be a fight to the death. Right now it would a Fish Taco versus a Knight. A Fish Taco sure sounds good right now.
13. Chicago Fish Tacos 48-41 #11 Hitting/ #17 Pitching/ #4 Fielding
Bet you didn’t see a Fish Taco beating a Knight did you.
12. Charlotte Blue Devils 47-42 #16 Hitting/ #9 Pitching/ #22 Fielding
The Blue Devils must be wishing they played in a different division. Third place, 13 games out is all they have to show for a very good season so far. If the played in the National League South they would be in first place but so would every other National League team.
THE ABOVE AVERAGE TEAMS
11. Anaheim Los Angeles Conquistadores 49-40 #24 Hitting/ #7 Pitching/ #5 Fielding
Until this team can shows me something, I refuse to put them in the Top Ten. Also they will fade after the Allstar break (putting hands together and praying)
10. Cleveland Elite Senators II 52-37 #7 Hitting/ #21 Pitching/ #25 Fielding
I don’t know what they offered to the baseball gods because they shouldn’t be here, let alone have 52 wins. They have scored only 12 more runs then allowed with an above average offense, below average pitching staff and a horrible defense. Need to find out more about this.
9. Helena Emperors 47-42 #11 Hitting/ #17 Pitching/ #4 Fielding
May be third in there division but there in front of the Santa Cruz Is Coming to Town and Anaheim Los Angeles Conquistadores in the power rankings. It’s good to be the Emperor.
8. Texas Justice 47-42 #1 Hitting/ #25 Pitching/ #31 Fielding
Baseball is a funny game sometimes: The Justice can’t pitch or field but they always find a way to win. Just imagine what this team would be like if they had an offense.
7. Ottawa Morissettes 55-34 #20 Hitting/ #8 Pitching/ #23 Fielding
Still riding the wave they created during the first week of the season. Just seems like the team is coasting the rest of the way but with the rest of the division I really don’t blame them..
THE GREAT TEAMS
6. Wichita WINNERS 52-37 #18 Hitting/ #2 Pitching/ #17 Fielding
With a name like the WINNERS, I’d expect nothing less from the team. Should have an easy time the rest of the season as the division isn’t that strong.
5. Cincinnati Flying Pigs 55-34 #4 Hitting/ #10 Pitching/ #15 Fielding
While the Flying Pigs continue to pound out the hits like a bull, their pitching is going unnoticed -- and it should be noticed. The team ERA is 4.03 and there only allowing 4.38 runs per game. While the offense will remain, the jury is still out on the starting pitching. If these two can hang on and put up good numbers the rest of the way, the American League North should be a fun race all the way to the end.
4. St. Louis Birdos 56-33 #15 Hitting/ #1 Pitching/ #12 Fielding
This is proof that playing the league toughest division doesn’t always help. Second best record in the National League and still 4 games out. Still, the Birdos have all the makings of the top team, including their best starting staff in many years.
THE ELITE TEAMS
3. Tacoma Rain 59-30 #8 Hitting/ #4 Pitching/ #28 Fielding
I think it time for the Rain to let up a little. There’s nothing more to prove with a 21 game led in the division before the All-Star break.
2. San Antonio Sentinals 59-30 #5 Hitting/ #3 Pitching/ #7 Fielding
Sorry San Antonio, all your huffing and puffing still won’t make me change my mind about Tacoma winning the World Series. Plus I can’t take you seriously when your not even number 1 in the power rankings.
1. Philadelphia Pirates 60-29 #2 Hitting/ #5 Pitching/ #27 Fielding
It seems that Philadelphia is finally starting to hit a rough patch. The offense has come down a bit, same with the pitching staff. Still, they have the best record in the majors, so it's important to understand the difference between concern and panic. A Pirates team with holes is still one of the better teams this league has every seen.